Ringing the Doorbell
by Kaj-Nrig
Summary: Y'know, a get-together has become so much more than just a simple phone call or letter...
1. Chapter 1

**Ringing the Doorbell**  
By Kaj-Nrig

Final Fantasy VII is the sole property of Square Enix. I use these characters without permission.  


* * *

**The First Ring – The Brunette Starts it Off**

"Cloud, how've you been? I hope you get back soon. Marlene's got a surprise in store for you, so you better come quickly. See you later." She flipped the phone in on itself and placed it in its clasp on her hip. The contents of the bag next to her rustled against each other noisily, and she switched them from one hand to the other, shaking out her now-free fingers. _I wonder if Marlene's done with it? Oh, I can't wait to see her!_

The entrance to the new Seventh Heaven suddenly appeared in front of her, and she smiled lightly. Before she could press the doorbell, though, she heard footsteps clattering on the other side and the door swung open. Marlene beamed at her, twirled around lightly, and struck a pose. "So? How does it look?"

For a moment, she was awestruck. She'd been expecting it to be good, but she'd never thought it'd be so... authentic. After a moment's consideration, she shook her head and smiled. "Now what did I tell you about opening the door?" she berated in a teasing tone, trying in vain to furrow her brows.

"Oops!" The door quickly slammed on her. Then Marlene's muffled voice inquired from inside, broken by chuckles, "Who is it?"

"Me."

"Okay!" It swung open again and Marlene repeated her stunt, spinning on the toes of her boots and letting the dress flair out around her. "So? How does it look?" she asked again, this time a bit more impatiently.

She laughed and scooped the young girl up in one arm as she stepped into the bar. "Perfect. Now where's Denzel?"

"Right here!" came the reply from another room, and the young boy came rushing out, one hand gripping the stick above his shoulder and the other desperately trying to keep the pants from falling down. "What d'you think? Does Cloud have any belts I can use?"

She placed Marlene down and tousled Denzel's hair around before taking a step upstairs. "Of course he does; he doesn't come home nearly enough to use them, anyway. Are you coming up, or are you afraid you'll trip on the way?"

Denzel shook his head and stuck a tongue out. "Just go and get it, quick," he said, instead.

* * *

"Marlene's got a surprise in store for you, so you better come quickly. See you later." The message was followed by a familiar "No more messages", and he quickly flipped the phone in on itself. _Wonder what the surprise is,_ he thought to himself.

"Was that your girlfriend?" asked the young female nervously, putting the small white box to the side. He smiled at her, causing her to blush weakly.

"...If you need anything else, just give us a call," he said nonchalantly, and turned back to his bike. In the corner of his eye, he noticed her give a small, barely audible whine. When he stepped onto Fenrir and waved, her knees seemed to give out on her. _I should get going. Two more deliveries, and I'll be done for today._ With a quick flick, he started the bike to life and, after placing his goggles firmly over his eyes, sped off onto the nearby street.

As he turned to the highway, he suddenly remembered a message he had to send. Sighing, he turned around and searched the small pack he'd secured on the back of Fenrir. The bike took a sharp turn onto the highway, and he found the phone. Holding it with one hand, he dialed the numbers with the other.

"Barret, Marlene's got something special planned. I'm sure you're already on your way, but try to hurry. Tifa misses us a lot. That's all. Bye." Placing the phone back in its pack, he turned to face forward and put his hands back on the handles.

* * *

"I'm sure you're already on your way, but try to hurry. Tifa misses us a lot. That's all. Bye." With a loud snicker, he clicked the buttons with large, meaty fingers, cursing loudly until he found what he was looking for. A grin plastered on his face, he twisted the phone's top until the screen was no longer visible.

"Marlene, I'm gonna be there in thirty seconds, so you better be ready!" Laughing, he enthusiastically pressed the Send button.

"Message sent.

"To.

"Cid.

"And.

"Shera.

"Highwind."

The enthusiastic mood suddenly dissipated. "What!?" he shrieked into the little device, nearly swerving his pickup truck into an oncoming car in the process. The portable phone, so small in his huge mechanical hand, somehow managed to escape and cowered in the corner, its single eye staring hopelessly up at him. _Damn these stupid new techno-craps!_ With a disgruntled growl, he clawed for it, his other hand haphazardly attempting to twist the wheel in every direction at once.

"Why you STUPID little turd! I SWEAR, I will CRUSH you, you little sh-"

"Message sent.

"To.

"Vincent.

"Valentine."

* * *

"I'm gonna be there in thirty seconds, so you better be ready!"

He blinked.

And blinked again.

As the phone's slightly off-kilter voice began speaking, he blinked one more time.

"I'm sure it was a mistake, honey." He blinked once again.

"Barret probably meant to send it to Tifa to show Marlene," Shera continued persuasively. He blinked for the last time.

"...Shera."

"Yes?"

"...take the wheel for a second."

"Okay.

"...Remember - no cursing. You're going to ruin your twenty-five day record."

"Yeah, yeah, I gotcha."

Turning around, he steadily paced himself. One step, two step, one step, two step. _Y'know, how's about we call somebody else? Yeah, that's a good idea._ He calmly dialed the phone number, one step, two step out the large automatic doors leading out of the cockpit of the Sierra.

"We're sorry."

"Hey, it's ME, YuffieYuffie-"

"Is not available at the moment. If you would like to leave a message, press the Star key on your phone. If you would like to page-"

Beep.

"Please leave a message after the beep."

He sucked in a breath of air and reached for a cigarette. "Kid, I swear to GOD you better hope you get there before I do, because I sure as HELL don't want to see that again! Tell Barret his days are numbered!"

Sighing with relief, the old man placed the cigarette in its rightful place, and fiddled around in his breast pocket for the lighter. _Ah, that felt so much better._ Then he heard the door hiss open behind him and sighed again, removing the cigarette with a smile.

"Hi, honey," he replied lightly.

"...you know, I should've figured it was a miracle it lasted this long."

He turned around, his smile slowly turning into a wide smirk. "Hell, it was just too boring."

* * *

"Kid, I swear to GOD you better hope you get there before I-"

Grimacing to herself, she pulled the phone away from her ear and quickly closed it on itself. _Sheesh, old man, what's wrong with you?_ she inquired inquisitively. "Hey, Choco," she said, snapping lightly on the reins of the chocobo. "Quit being so lazy. Let's get going. We should already be in Edge by now."

Choco answered with an agitated wark and flared out its large wings, lowering its head until it was parallel to the quickly-passing earth. Turning its head, it warked again, demandingly.

"Uh uh! Not until we get there! You already got half of one on the way across the ocean!" she chided, slapping the chocobo's hide with force.

Its eyes drooping, its beak twitching, Choco sighed to itself and returned to the trek. It gave off one final, defeated wark before becoming silent. She took the time to quickly punch in a series of numbers on the cell phone, laughing happily as the connection signal sounded.

"We're sorry."

"...I thought I told you not to call-"

"Is not available at the moment. If you would like to leave a message-"

She excitedly pressed the little key and began wailing into the phone, "Vinnie, your stupid chocobo isn't working hard enough! When we get back, I'm not gonna feed him anything, so you better get your sorry little butt here as quickly as possible!"

In front of her, Choco moaned mournfully to itself. As they scaled the final hill, she let out a loud holler of joy at the sight of the massive city of Edge.

* * *

"Your stupid chocobo-"

He clicked the phone shut. _Why, why, why?_ he wondered as he stared passively at the small, pristine lake. The enchanted trees surrounding him cast a pale, moon-like light on his already pale skin, and he grudgingly lifted himself from the spot he'd occupied for the last forty days, next to the small lake.

In retrospect, it had probably been a big waste of time to sit there and watch the fireflies dance across the lake's surface for hours on end; he sure as hell didn't feel any more enlightened by the experience. _Eternity's gonna be a bitch,_ he said to himself.

With a deep stretch, he looked up at the always-starry sky, and, after finding a star of navigation, began making his way south.

As an afterthought, he clicked the phone open again and scanned the list of new video messages. Curiously, he'd received one from Barret.

"Why you STUPID little turd! I SWEAR, I will CRUSH you, you little sh-"

"End of message."

He blinked once.

Then resumed walking.

**-To be continued-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ringing the Doorbell**  
By Kaj-Nrig

**

* * *

The Second Ring – The Blonde Bombshell Returns**

"I'm surprised she's still calling you. She must miss you a lot; she never calls us nearly as much," he pressed on.

"I've told her countless times not to call me-"

"Has that ever stopped her before?" he interrupted with a small chuckle.

"..."

He switched the phone to his other ear and revved the engine once again, just to make sure it wouldn't stall at these slower speeds. "Well, if she has been calling you, then does that mean you're coming? Tifa would appreciate it, and I'm sure Marlene'd be overjoyed. She's got something special planned, apparently."

"...I'm heading there now," came Vincent's answer after a long consideration. _I'm glad he'll make it,_ he said to himself. _We haven't seen each other in a long time._ With a shrug, he continued down the street, toward the Seventh Heaven.

"That's great. I'll see you then," he said, grunting as he flipped the phone shut. As an afterthought, he flipped it back on and dialed in a set of numbers, but a message suddenly appeared:

From: Yuffie Kisaragi  
Subject: -no subject-  
Message:  
FEBC DDJ K RTX.

Puzzled, he decided to throttle his bike down; he was approaching the Seventh Heaven. Tifa stood in front of the door, waving joyfully. He waved back and took note of the small form that hid behind her. Clicking on "Reply", he answered, "Yuffie? Is something wrong? What did you send me?" and clicked it shut. As he rounded into the driveway, he dialed in Barret's number again.

"WHAT!?" came the harried reply, and he had to pull the phone away from his face. _What happened to him?_ he wondered silently, then spoke as calmly as he could into the phone.

"Barret, I'm almost there. You'd better hurry, or-"

"YEAH YEAH SHUT UP SPIKEY! I HEARD THE LAST TIME!"

"Okay, but Marlene's-"

"GOT SOMETHING PLANNED, I **KNOW**! NOW GET OUTTA MY FACE!" The phone suddenly clicked off and he found himself staring blankly at the screen. _What's wrong with him? He was fine just a while ago._

"Welcome back," Tifa welcomed warmly, reaching out to take the package he still had on the back of his bike. He gave it to her gratefully, smiling back at her.

"I'm home," he said. "Um... be careful with that, okay? It's for Denzel, and I'm not sure it'll be in the safest of hands with him." Tifa grimaced.

"You didn't..." He nodded. She sighed resignedly, answering, "I should've figured by the weight of it. Oh, we have a present for you, too."

"Really, now?" A giggle issued from behind Tifa's (rather well-rounded) posterior, and he smirked despite himself. "Say, where's Marlene?"

"Right here!" came the loud yell, and the young girl leapt in from behind Tifa, narrowly dodging the doorknob in the process. "So? How does it look?" she demanded, twirling around lightly in her brown boots.

He simply stared at her for a second. Words sought their way out of his mouth, but fell to their demise as they exited his lax lips.

A heavy vibration rang from his cell phone, and he snapped back to reality.

"There's one more thing," came Vincent's muffled voice.

"O-oh, what?" he stuttered, quickly bringing the phone to his ear.

"...when Yuffie gets there-" Vincent stopped abruptly as a loud crash came from the closed door. A moment later, Denzel rushed out, seized the present from Tifa, and rushed back in, giving a hasty "Thanks" in the process; Marlene gleefully followed. "...what was that?"

"Nothing," he answered fondly. "You were saying?"

"When Yuffie gets there, please feed-" Vincent was interrupted again as a shrill shriek issued from the closed bar, and when he looked in, he saw a horrified Marlene rushing by, followed closely by a battle-crying Denzel, who brandished the giant plastic knife in his two small hands. Tifa groaned and rushed over to help. "...should I ask?"

He was quick to respond with, "Everything... uh, everything's fine. What is it?"

"...when Yuffie gets there, please feed my chocobo."

He laughed and headed in, shutting the door behind him. "Okay."

* * *

"Okay, but Marlene's-"

"Got something planned, I **KNOW**! Now get outta my face!" he cursed and slammed the phone back into its meek little corner. _Damn phones these days!_ He would never understand why those damn companies continued to make them smaller and smaller... and smaller. He was painfully aware of how fragile it was; in his right hand, the phone could be crushed if he so much as flinched. Or sneezed. Or coughed. He was sorely tempted to do any of the three at the moment.

_I wonder what Marlene's present is._ His hands sweated as they gripped the wheel, and he felt like leaping up and down in giddy anticipation. Unable to contain himself, he let forth a high-pitched yelp. The passengers in the car next to him gave an odd look at the burly man with the voice of a schoolgirl.

...he felt so giddy that he couldn't be mad at his phone forever.

"C'mere, you piece o' crap," he said with affection, reaching over, completely disregarding the traffic in front of him. Why bother? He had saved the world twice over. He wasn't about to die in some car crash. "Look, I'm sorry an' all, but you've gotta understand how much pain you're causing me," he spoke soothingly, his rough, guttural voice sounding like a goat scraping against sandpaper.

He considered tucking the phone into his pocket before switching it to his left hand and dialing up the little munchkin's number.

"HEEEEEEEEEEY BIG GUUUUUY!" came the all-too-happy banshee cry of Yuffie, and he accidentally swerved into the next lane.

"Damn it, girl, you almost killed me!"

"You? Nuh uh, you saved the world twice over! You're not about to die in some car crash!"

Inside, that same giddy schoolgirl wanted to yelp and agree emphatically. Outside, he slammed another dent into the dashboard. "Shut up, you little brat! Hey, Cloud wants us to be there NOW! So hurry the-" He grated his teeth. He had promised Marlene he wouldn't swear. "Hurry it up!"

"Yeah, yeah... hey, what was up with Cid?"

He cringed.

"Yeah, he was going all apeshit about how I better get to you first or-"

She suddenly hung up, and he, confused, simply stared at the picture on the phone of a small puppy. The cute lil' itty-bitty puppy was SO CUUUUUTE! that he nearly missed the exit to the Seventh Heaven.

* * *

They were nearly there now. He sighed comfortably as the roof of the Seventh Heaven came into view. There was nothing else to do but maneuver the Sierra into a suitable parking spot behind the small bar.

Shera settled the ship into a nice, gentle cruise while he prepared the anchors. The crew rushed by in droves of ten or twenty, most getting to the deck to prepare to drop and secure the ship's anchor points.

"Honey, I think you should call Yuffie again. You need to apologize to her."

"Eh, she can take it," he responded.

"Honey..." his wife warned. He knew that tone – it was the one she always reserved for when she got extremely mad... like that one time when he forgot to feed the chocobo... for two days.

But he, the greatest master of the skies, the only man to ever fly in space... or ONE of the only men to ever fly in space... was not going to go down without a fight. "C'mon, Shera. She's eighteen, she can handle-"

"Honey."

He waxed at the blunt threat. "You wouldn't," he dared.

She took in a deep breath, and he caved in. "Okay, okay!" he conceded, pulling out his cell phone with dramatic flair. "THERE, you happy!? Sheesh, women..." Exasperated, he dialed in the rascal's number again.

The phone rang for a few good seconds before Yuffie answered, "Wark! Waaaark! Wark wark wark!"

He tilted his head to one side, then tilted it to the other. _...Wark? Th' hell's that supposed to mean?_

"Hey, kid, you better not be on drugs or any-" he yelled into the phone, but his command was cut short by a frenzied yelp in the background.

"HEY YOU STUPID BIRD GIVE THAT BACK!"

Followed closely by an emphatic, "Waaaark!"

And then he closed the phone, turned to Shera, and shook his head.

"The whole damn world's gone crazy, Shera." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Huh... maybe we shoulda picked up Red on the way here..."

* * *

Choco was being rather annoying. After they had passed one of the many cliff faces surrounding Edge, she'd decided to be merciful and allow Choco a small, five-minute break.

She knew better now.

Screeching wildly at the evil oversized chicken, she gave its head a good wallop and snatched her phone from off the ground, where Choco the Destroyer had slobbered all over it. Grimacing at all the dents it had suffered at the beak of the chocobo, she wiped the screen clean. "A new message? From Cloud?" she wondered briefly before treating Choco to one of her infamous glares. "You better not have done anything to it, Choco," she warned.

In response, Choco warked, and she missed the first part of the message. "...wrong? What did you send me?"

_...stupid Choco._

She gave Choco another death-glare before walking over to a stone to retrieve the saddle. "Alright, birdie, break's over! Onwa- huh?" Her phone rang again and, curious, she saw that Barret had called. Cid's words from before popped into her mind. "HEEEEEEEEEEY BIG GUUUUUY!" she exclaimed, taking Cid's suggestion to heart. The sound of tires screeching on the other end made her giggle hysterically.

"Damn it, girl, you almost killed me!"

"You? Nuh uh, you saved the world twice over! You're not about to die in some car crash!" she explained while slinging the saddle onto Choco's back. The bird squeaked in irritation, but she just stuck her tongue out at it. _Stupid bird. If you didn't belong to Vincent, I'd have made stew out of you by now._

"Shut up, you little brat!" Barret shouted, and she could tell that she was quickly getting under his skin, though she had to pause for a moment and wonder why he had even bothered to call her in the first place. _Huh... maybe Cid was right..._ "Hey, Cloud wants us to be there NOW! So hurry the- Hurry it up!"

An impish smile on her face, she answered, "Yeah, yeah... hey, what was up with Cid?" With a hard yank, she tightened the reins underneath Choco's belly, causing the bird to squawk in agony.

The silence on the other end was gold.

"Yeah, he was going all apeshit about how I better get to you first or- OW! HEY!" Clutching at her bleeding hand, she promptly planted a swift kick into Choco's traitorous flank and the feathered aviator tumbled forward, cell phone falling from its mouth.

"Serves you right, Choco. Wait 'til I tell Vinnie what you did to my hand! You'll be lucky to get a single leaf!" Snarling at the offending beast, she picked up the phone and quickly dialed in Vincent's phone.

There was a heavy sigh on the other end, followed by a resigned, "...what is it?"

"'What is it?' I'll tell you what it is, Vinnie! I'm about ready to ROAST your precious little Choco is what it is! That damn chocobo of yours ATTACKED me! My right hand's BLEEDING right now!"

"Deal with it."

"'Deal with it?' Look, Vinnie, I- Hello? Hello!?" She looked at the face of the phone in disbelief. "He... He hung up on me!"

"Wark wark wark!" Choco gloated from a distance. Tossing her phone at it, she was both overjoyed at the healthy smack as it struck Choco flat on the noggin and overcome with burning pain as her right hand throbbed.

Wincing in pain, she quickly returned to the rock and reached into her pack for a small vial. The antiseptic liquid caused the small puncture in her hand to flare painfully, and she cursed over and over to herself as she forced herself to endure the unending torture. "Ooh, y'damn bird... no more missus nice ninja-"

"Wark! Waaaark! Wark wark wark!"

She gasped. _Wh... what's that in his mouth? Hey... _"HEY YOU STUPID BIRD GIVE THAT BACK!" she shouted, lunging across the wide clearing in two steps.

"Waaaark!"

* * *

The sea made him think about seasickness, which made him think about Yuffie, which made him think about how obnoxious she was. Cloud's words from just a moment ago rang through his head. _She must miss you a lot; she never calls us nearly as much._ It was heartwarming, in its own strange, Yuffie way, but more than anything, he felt bothered by the girl's constant pestering.

He knew she did it for good fun, but really... _Sometimes I feel like slapping her._

His phone suddenly rang, and he felt a cold shudder wrack his impossibly pale body. _Speak of the devil..._ he grumbled.

"...what is it?" he answered just before she was taken to the voicemail. At least he'd know how Choco was doing.

"'What is it?'" Jerking his ear away from the phone as if the plague surrounded it, he hastily turned down the volume to its minimum.

"I'm about ready to ROAST your precious little Choco is what it is!"

Grimacing, he realized that her voice was still just as loud as ever.

"That damn chocobo of yours ATTACKED me!"

...THAT was interesting. A small phantom smile graced his lips.

"My right hand's BLEEDING right now!"

_...score one for Choco._ Coughing once to clear the thought, he answered, as monotonously as possible, "Deal with it."

"'Deal with it?' Look-" He clicked the phone shut and stared at the shallow waves of the ocean, trying to find the meaning of life in their depths. When that failed, he instead dialed Cloud's number. He knew there were going to be repercussions from his little slight of the princess.

"There's one more thing," he said.

"O-oh, what?"

"...when Yuffie gets there-" A deafening thud sounded, followed by footsteps, a quick "Thanks!" from Denzel, and Marlene's excited giggles. "...what was that?"

"Nothing. You were saying?"

"When Yuffie gets there, please feed-"

"Aaaaaaah!"

"Raaaa-hahahah!"

"Oh, no..."

Blinking to himself, he cautiously continued. "...should I ask?"

"Everything... uh, everything's fine. What is it?" There was a definite tone of anxiety in Cloud's voice, but he didn't pay it any heed. Whatever happened, Cloud always had his giant multi-tool to deal with it. He, on the other hand, had no way of protecting Choco from Yuffie's wrath.

"When Yuffie gets there, please feed my chocobo."

"Heheh. Okay."

**-To be continued-**

* * *

Notes: So. There you go. Chapter 2 of this... two- or three-year old story. I've updated the first part, as well, so you might want to go back to that one if you haven't already. Just sayin'. Thanks for the read, and thanks for any and all reviews.


End file.
